The Good, The Bad, and the Beautifully Messy

When we started our photography business, we didn’t know how deeply it would shape not only our lives, but our children’s lives too. They’ve grown up with cameras always around, weekends and evenings often full, and parents juggling multiple timelines pretty much constantly.

When we started our photography business our oldest child was our only child, and was only 2 years old. We now have 3 children and they are now 17, 14, and 11. They’ve literally grown up with this business, and don’t know (or remember) any differently.

They were there for the long nights of editing, the family dinners that were pushed back because of client calls or consults, and the Saturdays where we said goodbye early in the morning, to not see them again before they were in bed for the night.

This post is for them. For our kids who grew up in the trenches of Cam & Courtney Photography.

The Good – A Front Row Seat to Passion and Purpose

From the beginning, we’ve tried to involve our children in what we do. They’ve come along to help us as we scouted locations, been our guinea pigs as we learned new photography techniques, or sat quietly in the basement as we had wedding consults. And they have gotten really good at asking photography related questions.

They have seen firsthand what it looks like to build something from the ground up. They watched us pour our heart into our work, problem-solve in real time, and how we show up for people on some of the most important days of their lives. We hope that showed them how passion and hard work can turn a “job” into something way more meaningful.

We’ve also tried to model for them that our work is always about the people, not just pretty pictures. They’ve learned what it looks like to serve others with kindness, flexibility and genuine care. And that serving others may not only be what you’re hired to do, but going above and beyond to give from your heart. These kids have witnessed that building a business can be an act of love.

They have witnessed as we have connected our faith to our business. As we give Jesus the glory and honour for every booking we got, every answer to prayer, or even when we share a challenging situation and they lift us up in prayer.

It is also encouraging to know that at least one of our kids is interested in pursuing photography. Not that we would ever push it on them, but that they’ve seen something of value in what we do that sparks a desire in them to replicate. That feels pretty good.

The time they spent with aunts & uncles or grandparents while we shot weddings was also a gift to them. As much as we wish we could have been with them, the relationships that were forged and strengthened with family was so precious. It was an unexpected perk of us being away- that they got to experience deeper relationships with so many people who love them dearly.

Our kids have been our biggest cheerleaders and supporters all along the way. So many of their friends talk to us about our website, and how much they love looking at our photos, or scouring through old blogposts for posts about our kids when they were little. To have our kids be proud of us for our accomplishments and the intentionality we put forth in our business and relationships… wow, what an incredibly rich and unexpected gift.

The Bad – What We Missed Along the Way

Speaking honestly, there is also a cost associated with what we do. And our children have felt this too.

A photographer’s work day isn’t the same as a 9 to 5 job- most happening in the evenings or on weekends (in our chosen area of focus, anyway). We have missed football and soccer games, sometimes whole tournaments. They’ve missed friend’s birthdays when we couldn’t make the arrangements to get them there while we worked. They’ve had to share their time with us with strangers, capturing stranger’s family memories. They’ve spent more Saturdays and evenings where one or both parents are not around than most kids would probably have to. And even when we are home, they’ve had to deal with late night editing, being relegated to the basement during consults, or even periods where we were just too drained to be able to be fully present.

We have tried our best to protect our time with our kids and we have drastically improved at this practice over the last few years. We have intentionally blocked off weekends. We started setting work hour boundaries. We prioritized them as much as could, but we know we still didn’t always succeed. There were seasons (or years) when we took on way too much. There were evenings where we were physically present, but mentally still at a reception, or session, or processing through an email, timeline, or social media post.

And there is a great deal of grief that we feel in that time lost.

It hurts to know that part of their childhood involved looking out the window, waiting for us to come home from “one more wedding.” Or missing our son’s very first football game, and having him ask his grandma, “Why couldn’t they reschedule the wedding so they could be here for my first game?” That one still really stings- even though we had explained that the wedding was set over a year before, that isn’t something his little mind could comprehend.

But there were moments lost, that we can never regain.

The Ugly – The Guilt and the Tension

Being both business owners and parents means that we’ve lived in the tension of ‘in between’ almost constantly. Wanting to give our clients our best, while also wanting to give our own children the same. And when we couldn’t do both equally, we carried a good amount of guilt.

There were short fuses and frustrated sighs when things didn’t go perfectly or as we fumbled with technical difficulties. There were tears (ours and theirs) when we left again, even for just a few hours for the next photoshoot. There were seasons where we questioned if we were doing it all wrong.

We’ve had to apologize. Many times. We’ve had to make adjustments. And we’ve had to give them permission to not be afraid to tell us the truth, and learn to openly listen and to also prioritize their needs, hurts, and desires.

But also the Beautiful

Still, we wouldn’t change it. We may change little things or alter some decisions we made, but overall, we wouldn’t. This was our journey and good, bad and ugly aside, it has become something beautiful.

Because along the way, they’ve learned what it means to care deeply about your work and still make margin for family. They’ve seen us fight for balance, prioritize them, make intentional choices to take on less. They have heard us say, “We love you more than this job.” And they now get to see firsthand what it looks like to close one chapter, not because we don’t love it anymore, but out of surrender, and because we love them more.

Part of the decision to close Cam & Courtney Photography was deeply shaped by them. Not because we regret any of it, but because we want to reclaim evenings and weekends. We want to make more space for their sports and even some lazy Saturdays, and slow, unhurried suppers around the family table. We want the opportunity to be home with them while we still have them in our home.

To Our Kids:

Thank you for being part of this story. Thank you for your grace, your giggles, your hugs, and your understanding when you didn’t quite get why we had to go. We hope when you look back, you remember the beauty more that the busy. And we hope you know that we love you, we are here for you, and we choose you.

With fragile hearts,

Mom & Dad (aka “Cam & Courtney”)